Do you see what I see?

I'm writing this post out of concern for two ladies in my life. I don't want to put them on blast so I won't mention how I know them. Both of these women have extremely damaged hair. Damaged to the point where they prolly need to cut their hair down to about 2 inches of hair.

Situation 1: One of these ladies is transitioning. I'll call her Nu Hair becuz she has faithfully been rocking a wig during her transition lol. Anyways, this wknd I walked in her house and her hair was all over her head. Immediately, I saw that she had extreme extreme breakage that started from her hairline and reached about 3 inches back. The rest of her hair looks very sparse and seems like she's been loosing hair on a daily basis. She has been transitioning for about 7 months so she has about 2 inches of unrelaxed hair. I was really alarmed and asked what happened to her hair. I think it is a mixture of reasons. 1) Like many women, she does not take care of her hair. 2) Stress is a huge factor in her life at the moment. I asked her what was she going to do with her hair. She told me that she wants to get it flat ironed for her wedding anniversary. WHAT!!! Ur kidding me, right?

Situation 2: The second lady is about 21 years old and has hated getting her ends clipped all of her life. I will call her ponytail becuz she wears her hair in a ponytail about 97% of the time. I have been on her back about her hair, but she refused to get her ends clipped. Also, this girl is famous for going with an relaxer for at least 4 months at a time. See some women can do this..that is if they take care of their hair. She lacks knowledge about hair to the point that she didn't know that after your hair is "healthy" there is still a need to clip/dust your ends. So, I also saw this woman's hair this wknd. The middle of her hair is completely missing hair...like Nu Hair only her unrelaxed hair remains. She is considering waiting another year before thinking about relaxing(thumbs up). She asked me at least five times "how much of my hair will I need to get cut off" The thought in my mind was "Um hello, ur missing hair sweetie. U prolly will need to let all go."

Come one ladies. Can't you see that ur hair is trying to tell you something. I was talking to Tania and she made a comment that when some women look at their hair they must not really see what's there. IA 110%. It's like their too busy imagining what they want their hair to look like they can't open their eyes to see what's in the mirror.

I really feel for these ladies. Both of their partners are not supportive of the fact that they need to rock a twa or braids for a few months. One even commented "a lot of ladies can rock short hair but not my lady" How rude. These women have no support and are terrified of cutting their hair. And we all know that their are countless women out there with the same problem.

Gone but not Forgotten

I always loved Aaliyah. When I was younger I thought she had it all...beauty, sass, flowing real hair lol, and a great performer. There wasn't a time when her videos were on that I would flip the channel. I truly can't believe she's been gone for 8 years now.



Artist: Aaliyah
Song: Are you that somebody?

*Patting myself on the back*

Last night I had a great idea of getting up extra earlier today so I could go to the gym before my 8:30 class. Normally, I would have kept hitting the snooze button until it was too late, but for some reason I was full of energy when I woke up this morning from only 4 good hours of sleep lol. I had a good workout and I'm really thinking about advancing my routine soon very soon. I've lost a total of about >5 lbs. I know that's not a lot, but I'm very proud of myself. It's been about a month since I started working out about three times a week. I'm starting to notice my stomach flattening and my flab tightening...its great.

After my workout, I took a shower and rinsed my hair at the gym when a thought hit me. I would have never been able to rinse/cowash my hair on an almost daily basis when my hair was relaxed. And even if I could I would have never been able to slap some activator gel and a headband and just go. I was admiring my curls in the mirror and I still can't believe that my hair is natural. This might be easier for some ppl to accept, but to me its a huge change. Personally, its been a change for the better. I love love love my hair and I know she loves me too lol.

Breathe in Breathe out....Woosah

I feel like I've been on another planet for a bit. I've been taking care of business and making sure everything is line so my semester can start smoothly. I'm tired and I really wish I could have a mini-vacation before I go back to school...hmm thats sooo not going to happen. The closest thing to that will be maybe going home for my bestie's b-day then a trip w/ my old roomies to U of I South in September.

My face is still breaking out and I'm really starting to believe it started with my frequent cowash sessions. I have slowed down on them and up'd my face regime but the break outs haven't ceased yet. I first used
with warm water. I recently used the CVS brand of apricot scrub that left my face very irritated and I ended up breaking out on my cheeks too. I've heard really good things about Cetaphil from ppl w/ sensitive skin like me so I had to give it a shot. Next, I finally tried Tania's baking soda scrub last night. If you try I will have to warn you...it made my face burn like hell. Lastly, I used my ACV as my toner as normal. This morning my face looked soo much better. I don't know if it was the Cetaphil or the baking soda that did the trick. Either way I'm greatful.

In my hair news, I'm going back into protective season. I started protective styles last year in September and my hair loved me for it. Although, this time I will be using heat occasionally becuz I admit I occasionally miss the days when my hair was wrapped.

Video of the Day

Fefe Dobson - New Music - More Music Videos

Artist: Fefe Dobson
Song: I want you

This song is very different from what I typically see. Personally, I like this time of music so I'm up for a change.

It feels so good

I hope you had the opportunity to feel the great pleasure in ur heart when u've heard that you've encouraged someone. This doesn't pertain only to natural hair but all things we experience in life. As I was told when I was younger "someone is always watching u" and its so true. Unfortunately, ppl also are watching us when we're doing things negatively as well, but thats another story.

Recently, I got a DM(direct message) on Twitter from a college friend of mine. She stressed how much she want to get rid of her perm. Over this past year plus some, I can't remember the last time she had worn her on hair out. She didn't wasn't addicted to LF or anything so I knew something deeper was going on. She had a mishap last summer when taking out the tracks from her last hair style. A chunk of hair was stuck to the track and would not come out. She was rocking her wig to hid the damage I believe. Anyways, to make a long story short. Tuesday night she sent me a pic. She BC'd yall!! I'm so happy for her. She told me that its becuz of me that she first started thinking about going natural. I'm estatic.

Also, my mom and sister are still transitioning. I'm going to continue holding their hands all the way through. Its such a great feeling.

It's School Time Again

In 2004, I would have thought I would have graduated from undergrad by now, but unfortunately I haven't. The fact that I've been in school for almost 6 years and others were able to graduate in under 4 makes me a tad bit jealous I admit. I was trying to make sure I don't overload myself by taking more than 15 credit hours a semester, but now I'm saying what the heck. I'm trying to get out of school and don't ever wanna go back(I know that I'll eventually go to grad school if I can't help it). I already know this semester is going to be crazy..I'm taking 18 hours and working two jobs. Well a sista has to do what she has to do. Imma keep my faith strong and stay focused studying and I know I will make it through.

Video Of the Day

Artist: K'Jon
Song: On the Ocean

The Relaxed Decision

I'm interested to know y after finding out how harmful relaxers can be and hearing all the horror stories of the damage its caused we still feel we(black women) need to get our hair "permed" on a regular. I've been natural for over a year and I love it. I realize that some individuals find it hard to care for natural hair so they continue to relax...believe me I'm not hating. I just would love to hear y they love relaxers so much. I would love to know y they are so addictive.

I don't talk much about my decision to go natural, but I began thinking really hard about this when I began to read the post Good Hair. As a child I can remember going to the hair dresser every couple of weeks with my mother and sister. I don't have many memories of my childhood but these visits are clear. We were all natural but got our hair pressed on a regular. My mother never did our hair at home(by this age my sis could style her own hair), so I never saw my natural curls...if I even had any left from getting my hair pressed so often. My mother wore her hair in tight rollerset curls and I hated it lol. It reminded me of a 60's hairstyle. As I got a little older my sis got her hair relaxed by a stylist from church....then my mother got hers relaxed. It only seemed natural to get my hair relaxed too...or so I thought. I actually learned to love the feeling of head getting burned from the relaxer....odd and weird I know. One time my head burn so bad it literally felt like my hair was going to fall off. My stylist had to pour antiseptic over my whole head. Yet, I didn't think twice about it. I felt like it was my own fault that I got burned. I wasn't supposed to scratch my head. It's like we are brainwashed. That's not normal. Y would I want something in my head that burned that much? Some women feel that their hair is only beautiful when their new grow has just been fried and their hair is bone straight. I wasn't that type. I wanted my hair to grow and I wanted my hair to be healthy. Once I began to learn about natural hair I challenged myself and transitioned from the relaxers.

Like I said before, I'm not hating on relaxers. I believe that we have free will and can do what we please to our hair. I understand that natural hair can be too much to handle at times. I just wish we as black ppl could be more open to change. More willing open to our eyes when something is obviously wrong with us. I know so many women who have bald spots all over their heads and you can see their scalp from just looking at them from behind...yet they still go back and get there hair relaxed. I know that some women feel that relaxed hair is more acceptable. Those same women will wear blond synthetic weave and think their hott.

I also know women who are very aware and knowledgeable(or they have good stylists) of whats going on to their hair. These women understand that relaxers need to be stretched and carefully applied. It would make sense for these women to choose to continue to relax, so my curiosity grows deeper for women with damaged hair. I want to know y they find so much comfort in getting them. It can't be so much that they wanna be just like celebrities or the tv because the majority of them are rocking lacefront wigs not relaxers.

I know their are historical facts and research on this, but I just want what is really going through these women's minds. I want to know what their really thinking. Hmmm...I just wanna know.

Video of the Day

Artist: Mariah Carey feat Gucci Mane
Song: Obsessed Remix

Idk but I love this song. The hook is so hott plus my honey is constantly beating Gucci so this is a great mix.

Past Due: Toning Up

In the last recent months, I've stressed by desire to get my body together. I have fell off the wagon quite a few times. I started by jogging a couple times a week and had to scratch from my schedule becuz I had to get a second job. So I have been itching to get a workout in, but couldn't figure out a plan. I finally figured I could fit a workout in between my jobs even though I am stretching myself really thin. Last week I was able to get 3 1.5hr workouts in. My body was so sore but it made be feel good at the same times.

Part of the reason I am weary of working out to much is becuz my honey is one of those Black men who love sisters with big booties and thighs. When I started to gain weight he noticed my lil bump was growing nicely(in his eyes). I fear that if I get in shape I will be shaped like a string bean. My health is more important than his lustful wants. He loved me when I was super skinny so he'll love me now too.

Once I get over these worries there will be no turning back.

It's time for something new

As I reported a couple weeks ago, I was going to attempt to step away from the puff. Have I? Um...not really. I will admit I haven't been wearing them tight so my hairline won't pay the cost. And I have been switching up the position almost daily.

Of course I have made excuses of y I've been sticking to the puff and I'm happy that at least I know they are just that...excuses. My number one: is this summer I have been ridiculously busy...not with events unfortunately but from working so much. Number two: well you know I've been trying to color my hair...so I didn't want to do a protective style that I would have to take right back down becuz I wanted to color it.

So here I am...still no color and my hair is still in a puff. Wanna no y? Remember when I said I was going to let a stylist do my hair. Well that stylist was an older cousin that I don't know very well. I made an appt with her and everything. That was until she texted me that she was going to charge me 65 smackers for some color. WTF!!! I have never and will never pay that much to get my hair done(besides braids). Hopefully I've finally found someone to help me color it(one of the city bus drivers).

In other news, I have been secretly searching for a new DC. I ran out of my ORS that I usually mix with 2 eggs. The last time I DC'd as suggested by my bf Tania
I mixed a cheap conditioner w/ essential oils. My sis has been using during her transition. I saw it at Walmart this wknd so I thought...hmm y not. I plan DCin, coloring, and during a protective style this week. We shall see how it goes.