Monday, May 2, 2011

Coming to Terms with Myself...Managing ADHD

All of my life, I've found it impossible to stay interested in anything very long. I thought that it was just my personality...after admitting it was too much for me to handle on my 24 years old I went to get help. My issues, not keeping enough focus to complete the tasks at hand, have caused me to damage my credit by not keeping up with my bills, making subpar grades in school, living in a constantly cluttered environment, losing expensive items....the list goes on and on and on. I've always believed I was a responsible person, but my actions were not showing that at all.

When I tell ppl how my ADHD issues have effected me I find most of them just don't understand. Many feel I'm just making excuses for myself. Too often, I convince myself their right. My diagnosis alone has been a huge relief and has made a positive impact on myself personally. At times, I still feel like I'm making excuses for myself for not being more persistent at carrying on tasks for more than a short period of time. I know your probably thinking, "Why is this woman making random posts?". Idk maybe it is random....but I am random lol. Take this blog for instance, I wanted to keep up with this thing soooo bad. I'd keep up with posts for a while, then something would happen in my life that just throws me off my game.

After I was diagnosed, my mother practically begged me not to get medicated. I can bet she didn't I had a real problem before and doesn't believe I have one now. She thought I needed to work "harder." What the heck does that mean? At school, I found myself struggling in almost every quiz, assignment, and exam I took. I wasn't retaining anything from the lectures or when I was studying on my own. I felt like a complete failure. After getting medicated and receiving free ADHD coaching on campus, my grades skyrocketed. I've also have been keeping up with my bills...but I have to face the facts. The bank and credit card companies don't get a crap about me finding out why it was so freaking hard to keep up with my bills. The damage has been done and I will be suffering the consequences for at least another 6 months - 6 years depending on whose judging me by my credit. I feel horrible that I did not get help sooner. I should have listened to that voice inside of me that was screaming, "Your already trying as hard as you can...go find out why your still struggling" instead of the folks telling me "Girl, there's nothing wrong with you...I bet u pay attention to what you want to."

I have to say, there's no silver bullet for managing with ADHD. I am still working hard to keeping up with my credit so it can continue to improve. Eventhough I have been getting great grades for over a year I wasn't even able to pull my gpa up to a 3.0. However, now I'm better prepared for academia when I start grad school. I was able to find a great job and will move from the midwest soon. Currently, I'm stressing myself out beyond belief to make sure our move will happen smoothly. I'll keep my head up.


Anonymous said...

WOW...thank you for your post. I am a teacher who works with various students who have learning disabilities. At the current moment I have a student who has severe ADHD and his parents do not want to put him on meds. Even though I have explained to his that his condition is getting worse and that they should educate themselves on the various types of medicines out there so they can know what is best for their child they still have yet to do anything. I am worried about this student because I feel he has so much potential but can't access it because of the ADHD that controls his life. I think I may show your story to them to see what it is like to be an adult with ADHD and how the right medication can help. Thank you!

KurlyQue said...

Yea, when my mom begged me not to take anything, I searched for ways to handle things holistically. I believe some of the practices and vitamins would have helped a little...I love stuff like that. But for me it just wasn't enough on its own.

ADHD coaching has helped a lot as university also offered student group sessions in addition.

Educating myself about how my disabilities will effect me, taking my meds properly and coaching together has changed my life. I know parents can be really rough. There are so many meds options now for LDs. I hope you have a breakthrough with them.